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oitnb season 3 requirements
- for poussey to never be sad ever.
In the criminal justice system, supernatually-based offenses are considered really, really weird. In Beacon Hills, California, the dedicated detectives who investigate all this bizarre shit are Sheriff Stilinski and Derek ‘The Nose’ Hale (that guy, you know, the lurky one whose family died in a fire? Yeah it’s totally him).
These are their stories.
the 7 y/o boy who lives next door doesn’t want to go in the house to bed and i just heard his dad use the old “you live under my roof, you live by my rules” and the kid just shouted back “im not under your roof im under the sky and thats god’s roof and he wants me to play out for longer!”
i can’t stop laughing.
update: now he’s scootering down the street singing ‘we didn’t start the fire’ while his dad chases him
I’ve just come home from my longest work shift yet - 9 hours 15 minutes. I know other jobs have shifts that are a lot longer (beats me how anyone can work 12 hours straight) but I still feel like I’ve earned the right to brag.
imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread
later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”
this is absolutely about the pencil factory vampire
This is the one song everyone
would like to learn: the song
that is irresistible:
the song that forces men
to leap overboard in squadrons
even though they see the beached skulls
the song nobody knows
because anyone who has heard it
is dead, and the others can’t remember.
Shall I tell you the secret
and if I do, will you get me
out of this bird suit?
I don’t enjoy it here
squatting on this island
looking picturesque and mythical
with these two feathery maniacs,
I don’t enjoy singing
this trio, fatal and valuable.
I will tell the secret to you,
to you, only to you.
Come closer. This song
is a cry for help: Help me!
Only you, only you can,
you are unique
at last. Alas
it is a boring song
but it works every time.
'What's empowerin' about witchcraft anyway?' said Granny. 'It's a daft sort of a word.'
'Search me,' said Nanny. 'I did start out in witchcraft to get boys, to tell you the truth.'
'Think I don't know that?'
'What did you start out to get, Esme?'
Granny stopped, and looked up at the frosty sky and then down at the ground.
'Dunno,' she said, at last. 'Even, I suppose.'
And that, Nanny thought, was that.
#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuugh my granny weatherwax feels r outta CONTROL#like what did she have to get even against?#im in two minds did something happen did ppl say shit to her and she spent her whole life proving them wrong#or is she just out to get even with the universe (via misterquark)
I always thought that was a reference to Lily Weatherwax.
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